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It swims in me
In my chest
Eating at my heart
All I can do is feel it
I expand
Into the disassociation
Where do I start and stop
I have to be able to fall of a wire without feeling sorry for myself
Observing
Observing my pity
Observing my suffering
Long suffering is to be cherished in the Church
There is no ground
I ground to the central sun
There my physical body floats
My mind is aloof
My vision feels profound
In this euphoric bliss
The bliss hurts
I moan to release the pressure of the feeling
My heart is so hard to feel
I want to run from it
Yet I must be with it
Is this what love is
I cry
I cough
I pace
Then I must lie down
It feels like I am accomplishing something
Yet I am not sure what that something is
Sometimes I wish I knew what the feeling was about
Other times I just want to fall asleep and take it into the dream
Shaun
In my masculine I am an old soul. I am tiered. I go through life in pain. I am a lightworker to be of service, yet I have been shut down and feel I am not useful any more. In my feminine there is new hope as my heart opens up. It hurts. Feels like I am having a heart attack most of the time. Yet there is youthful vigoure my feminine receiving. The lines in the background represent the chaos in my mind and in the psychic planes I venture to. It is painful to be there. Yet when I am of service I tap in and then have to deal with it until I can shut it down again. Chaos brings death and change which brings new life or new patterns. That is the structure of the chaos. I pull from the German abstract expressionists. I am German myself. Pulling from my roots. I also pull from the Automatistes as I am also French. In the chaos I often see images that further give to the meaning of the piece. I leave each observer to come up with their own images.
Shaun
My immune system is taking over after my Covid shot. Still an emotional rollercoaster. Bombarded by anti vaxers wherever I look. We will have to see what the new normal looks like. Hopefully we learned something.
I connected with someone the other day and taped in. It really shows up in my work when I do. I start to pull images from the higher planes.
Going from being on top of the world to having no hope. A cycle that continues. To observe it from the observational platform. To not take the human condition so seriously. I often laugh at myself. To navigate the chaos with a still yet fast mind.
Shaun
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